Legoland, by Monkey
Another silly night for myself, Adders and Monkey. After the moderate success of searching for Thomas the Tank engine we set our sights on Legoland Windsor. As always, this had been on the cards for a long time but it just takes so much energy to leave the circle of safety (M25). This sort of ‘explore’ happens for us because we have been far too serious and far too busy, individually we have hit over 150 live sites this year in London and a few other nations, maybe one day these will see the light of day. Not ony do we start to run out of things to do that interest us but because we are drunk idiots looking to have a laugh, not to mention its 50 sterling to enter the legoland legally.
I met up with the other lads at Victoria station already dark but we had been running about to gather the goods we needed. An hour or so train ride later we were in Windsor and already having to restock the alcohol supply, after that we were on our way for the hour long walk to our campsite for the evening. In the end we slept in some crown land type estate in what can only be described as a bush
A place called home
Before we could even cook dinner there was blood everywhere and we had to hold Adders foot together with some toilet paper and a couple of slings.
After dinner was cooked and eaten and a couple of cans each drank, we repacked our bags, left our sleeping bags and a hammock that wouldn’t be suspended and headed out the bush.. To get to what we thought we might be able to use as an access point would involve total darkness and a compass, not to mention Monkey constantly being told off by both myself and Adders for always trying to walk away into the night. Eventually we made our way and as luck may have it, we managed to get within the perimeter fence. Bags now a little bit lighter and a slurry of cans littered along the journey, at least we would be able to make our way back using Strongbow and Red Stripe cans as a trail to some form of Windsor hillbilly civilisation.
There were a few places from within the site we wanted to get to, so we made the long walk from our access to the Castle and had a little mooch around the outside and also behind the scenes, we didn’t stray too far within the actual castle ride because of infared cameras.
Photo by Adders
Photo by Monkey
Photo by Adders
After we felt we had seen enough we progressed further through the site…
Photo by Adders
On our way we went and we managed to have a meet a big old spider that became our friend and we stopped for a quick refreshing drink.
Photo by Monkey
We were then back on our way to fire station, is it any wonder the fire emergency services get bad press when they just fuck about all night and day, this is the reason why your house might burn down with all your possessions inside.
I think for all of us our target of getting to Minland was the most important and its here we settled for what seemed like quite a while.
Photo by Adders
Photo by Monkey
Photo by Adders
Once again mistakes were made and I don’t doubt it didn’t help matters by this point we had drank far too much and once again we were running low on the drink front. Monkey managed to step into the Sienne and then had a wet foot for the entire night and following day. I on the other hand went over a fence and tried to cross the grass, it wasn’t grass but actually a 6ft high bush I dropped into, tripod and camera in hand. I suppose if you go to Miniland now theres still a Gabe shaped hole in one of the bushes not far from Mini London.
Myself at St Pauls, i always thought it was pretty small actually
Fairly pleased we managed to tick off most of London we moved around a bit more and headed over to Paris and a few other places.
By Monkey
Over the past week you may of seen a couple of videos of certain fame hungry channel 4 me please type people climbing the Eiffel Tower, I can assure you Monkey was the first to try it, before it started to topple and he had to back down.
After being reasonably satisfied with our efforts here and having enough fun moving cars onto Big Ben, St Pauls, Nelsons Column, The Eifel Tower and The Arc De Triumph we made our way to where we had got wind there was a Lego Thomas the tank engine we had seen in pictures during our research. Sadly Thomas had tried to escape us once more and was nowhere to be seen. Sadly no pictures here as we were feeling too dejected.
The idea then surfaced we could find the mini battery powered cars and drive around site as it would be easier than walking.
Photo by Adders
Adders jumped the fence to get to the cars. Myself and Monkey were chill with our cans, Adders was loud and shouting how he didn’t know how to get them to start, at this exact moment security walked past us no more than 5 meters away as we were quietly telling Adders to shut the fuck up. I still have no idea to this day how security didn’t see or hear us, Monkey thinks he did and with that it was time to leave. Somehow getting caught in a theme park in the middle of the night just didn’t seem like a good thing. So without the battery powered cars we walked out, fairly quickly, exiting in a different place we got in but alas behind the perimeter fence and away with no reason to what we would be doing at 4am in this area.
We got back to the campsite and managed to get a couple of hours kip in our sleeping bags, sleeping on the cold, hard blood soaked ground in a bush as I mentioned before.
If you knew what was up the side of this tree it wouldn’t seem such a nice scene
With that morning came and we had to make our way back to London to go to work. An hour long walk back to Windsor and a quick stop off in the local spoons for some well earned breakfast and we were on our way back to our fine city, back to work, back to regular life, dirty, broken and a sock missing from Monkeys foot.
Good night lads.
