The "just one more " naked urination tour of 3 Parisienne quarries April 2015
I awoke on a picnic table bench along with SM(stoned monkey) , we had opted to stretch our legs while we all had a nap after a long drive and ferry ride through the night, the limo being a little cramped with 8 people and kit in..
We had set off the previous night, myself, ME(motionless escapes)jobs,paradox,andyj and SM picking up morse and Hydra in London along the way.
The exhaust had fell in half on the limo in blighty and after a hasty repair involving a bean can and tinfoil we made it across the water but it had now started moaning again so we had to deal with this before we went further.
The limo was beached up the highest curb we could find and jobs and SM set about it making a passable repair..
We arrived at tight hole quarry around mid day, i will omit the history for this one as A) its easier and B) i have been asked to not give away too much about this one to save upsetting the sensitive fellow who provided us with info on it.
We set off through the woods splitting up to find the access shaft but all ME and I found was a plastic pigeon which became the team mascot , luckily the others had sniffed out the entrance which was a neat circular shaft through the bedrock into the underground quarry chamber about 25 mtr below.
Abseil set up andy j had a look and returned up the line saying the line was around six mtr short and all we had was a 20 mtr line and some lengths of 6mm cord.
The others went to buy a longer rope which turned out to be a bargain after the shop mistakenly charged them 7 euros for a forty mtr line but myself being an impatient child hastily made a rope ladder out of the 6mm which I attached to the end of the ab rope and took a long time to climb the down this through constant falling water from the roof of the chamber.
I wouldn't recommend or do this again as apart from being bloody hard work I was now completely piss wet through. The others joined me not too long after and last to come down was jobs, naked of course whilst being directed to stay still in mid air and under the heavily dripping water whilst " just one more shot" was taken as the water ran freely over his bare arse.
We spent a few hours in here enjoying the place and taking a few pics before SRTing up the rope into the sunshine..
Next on the list and our home for the night was herblay and conflan quarry and we arrived before sundown after collecting supplies..
The quarry is used as a mushroom growing farm these days since around the turn of the century it is these farmers I believe who gave the names to the routes and rooms in it..
The quarry dates from around the 17th century and the limestone was considered to be of particular fine and good quality and used extensively in buildings throughout Paris.
The entrance was a very tight squeeze at the side of a gate which caused a few of the stout chaps in the party a few problems that needn't have been experienced as five hundred metres down the road we had drove up there are a number of entrances you can just walk in.
Once inside we were treated to a collection of lovely arches spanning the ceiling at intervals firming faults up as the ceilings settled after being quarried, the walls too were drystone walled to the ceilings and lot of other structure told me a lot of effort had gone into the mine after the stone had been quarried, I'd never seen anything like it..
We found a suitable room for the evening and set about getting blind drunk, the highlight of the evening was jobs hypnotising ME using a candle, and a bottle, the soot collected off the bottle on jobs thumbs and then massaged on to the unsuspecting young mans face to prepare and relax him for the next phase of hypnosis, the rest of us struggled to keep a straight face as ME's face got blacker and when he was told he was indeed not under hypnosis but the butt of a practical joke he took it on the chin and laughed as loud as all of us.
A short while later myself, andy j and ME decided to try and make the through route to the principle sorte at the other end of the mine, as it turned out we made it about 2/3rds of the way through after being confused by the beer , map and the amount of rooms and features not shown on it.
The map shows the through route and is not a definitive guide to the mine but after a good kip myself and andy j made the through trip before leaving the next day.
A few of the team went insane outside the quarry, sorry went in the seine to bathe as the weather was lovely whilst others passed out on the grass with our kit strewn all about like an immigrant camp at Calais, this drew some interest from the passing public who I think mistook us for gypsies.
Next on the list was henoque which was an ancient quarry enlarged and fortified by the Germans in world war two who used it to build the v2 rockets before sending the then state of the art technology over the channel to bomb the British who I doubt marvelled at the fine German engineering they were on the receiving end of. All the same the tunnels and infrastructure that made this possible certainly amazed us 70+ years on.
We slept in a tiny room with intricate carvings on the wall whilst some of us again proceeded to get blind drunk and others went off to explore the mine, I personally passed out exhausted and somewhat worse for wear, rising only once in the night to "sleep piss"on jobs pair of jeans he left on the floor to soak up any spillages.
I awoke in the morning unaware of my night time antics to a less than enthusiastic, pissed off (or on) team who informed me I was a twat (like I didn't know!)
Andy j "the maze runner " had been up since 5am not wanting to waste the trip and exploring the mine system and had now returned to tell us it was time to leave for home.
The trip had been a great laugh from start to finish with a fantastic group of folks and from it for future reference I drew the following conclusions.
A)always have a baked been tin in your boot.
B)when Hydra says " just one more shot" It would be a good idea to find a comfy seat and write your last testament as much time could elapse.
C) don't enter into being hypnotised by jobs
D) don't leave your jeans on the floor at a piss up unless everyone has a catheter fitted
E) what a great bunch of people I had come away with
Having not a clue how to strip information from the photos I took some of the team have agreed to post them as a reply (how utterly unprofessional of me) and I thank them in advance.
I awoke on a picnic table bench along with SM(stoned monkey) , we had opted to stretch our legs while we all had a nap after a long drive and ferry ride through the night, the limo being a little cramped with 8 people and kit in..
We had set off the previous night, myself, ME(motionless escapes)jobs,paradox,andyj and SM picking up morse and Hydra in London along the way.
The exhaust had fell in half on the limo in blighty and after a hasty repair involving a bean can and tinfoil we made it across the water but it had now started moaning again so we had to deal with this before we went further.
The limo was beached up the highest curb we could find and jobs and SM set about it making a passable repair..
We arrived at tight hole quarry around mid day, i will omit the history for this one as A) its easier and B) i have been asked to not give away too much about this one to save upsetting the sensitive fellow who provided us with info on it.
We set off through the woods splitting up to find the access shaft but all ME and I found was a plastic pigeon which became the team mascot , luckily the others had sniffed out the entrance which was a neat circular shaft through the bedrock into the underground quarry chamber about 25 mtr below.
Abseil set up andy j had a look and returned up the line saying the line was around six mtr short and all we had was a 20 mtr line and some lengths of 6mm cord.
The others went to buy a longer rope which turned out to be a bargain after the shop mistakenly charged them 7 euros for a forty mtr line but myself being an impatient child hastily made a rope ladder out of the 6mm which I attached to the end of the ab rope and took a long time to climb the down this through constant falling water from the roof of the chamber.
I wouldn't recommend or do this again as apart from being bloody hard work I was now completely piss wet through. The others joined me not too long after and last to come down was jobs, naked of course whilst being directed to stay still in mid air and under the heavily dripping water whilst " just one more shot" was taken as the water ran freely over his bare arse.
We spent a few hours in here enjoying the place and taking a few pics before SRTing up the rope into the sunshine..
Next on the list and our home for the night was herblay and conflan quarry and we arrived before sundown after collecting supplies..
The quarry is used as a mushroom growing farm these days since around the turn of the century it is these farmers I believe who gave the names to the routes and rooms in it..
The quarry dates from around the 17th century and the limestone was considered to be of particular fine and good quality and used extensively in buildings throughout Paris.
The entrance was a very tight squeeze at the side of a gate which caused a few of the stout chaps in the party a few problems that needn't have been experienced as five hundred metres down the road we had drove up there are a number of entrances you can just walk in.
Once inside we were treated to a collection of lovely arches spanning the ceiling at intervals firming faults up as the ceilings settled after being quarried, the walls too were drystone walled to the ceilings and lot of other structure told me a lot of effort had gone into the mine after the stone had been quarried, I'd never seen anything like it..
We found a suitable room for the evening and set about getting blind drunk, the highlight of the evening was jobs hypnotising ME using a candle, and a bottle, the soot collected off the bottle on jobs thumbs and then massaged on to the unsuspecting young mans face to prepare and relax him for the next phase of hypnosis, the rest of us struggled to keep a straight face as ME's face got blacker and when he was told he was indeed not under hypnosis but the butt of a practical joke he took it on the chin and laughed as loud as all of us.
A short while later myself, andy j and ME decided to try and make the through route to the principle sorte at the other end of the mine, as it turned out we made it about 2/3rds of the way through after being confused by the beer , map and the amount of rooms and features not shown on it.
The map shows the through route and is not a definitive guide to the mine but after a good kip myself and andy j made the through trip before leaving the next day.
A few of the team went insane outside the quarry, sorry went in the seine to bathe as the weather was lovely whilst others passed out on the grass with our kit strewn all about like an immigrant camp at Calais, this drew some interest from the passing public who I think mistook us for gypsies.
Next on the list was henoque which was an ancient quarry enlarged and fortified by the Germans in world war two who used it to build the v2 rockets before sending the then state of the art technology over the channel to bomb the British who I doubt marvelled at the fine German engineering they were on the receiving end of. All the same the tunnels and infrastructure that made this possible certainly amazed us 70+ years on.
We slept in a tiny room with intricate carvings on the wall whilst some of us again proceeded to get blind drunk and others went off to explore the mine, I personally passed out exhausted and somewhat worse for wear, rising only once in the night to "sleep piss"on jobs pair of jeans he left on the floor to soak up any spillages.
I awoke in the morning unaware of my night time antics to a less than enthusiastic, pissed off (or on) team who informed me I was a twat (like I didn't know!)
Andy j "the maze runner " had been up since 5am not wanting to waste the trip and exploring the mine system and had now returned to tell us it was time to leave for home.
The trip had been a great laugh from start to finish with a fantastic group of folks and from it for future reference I drew the following conclusions.
A)always have a baked been tin in your boot.
B)when Hydra says " just one more shot" It would be a good idea to find a comfy seat and write your last testament as much time could elapse.
C) don't enter into being hypnotised by jobs
D) don't leave your jeans on the floor at a piss up unless everyone has a catheter fitted
E) what a great bunch of people I had come away with
Having not a clue how to strip information from the photos I took some of the team have agreed to post them as a reply (how utterly unprofessional of me) and I thank them in advance.
, sounds like a brilliant trip.
